Difficulty forgiving someone

I struggling to forgive someone I have had a complicated history with, I keep having bad thoughts about this person what she said and done, and even vindictive thoughts about her suffering the consequences of her actions.

I need prayers that I can forgive this person and move on.

 

I have the same problem. This is an ongoing thing with me. I have found that you just have to stab the dragon every time it lunges at you. It does get better with time, though, and it is possible to wear the old dragon out a bit.

Our Lady is a huge help. The Divine Mercy devotion is a huge help, too.

 

I will pray for you
Confession is a good thing
Talk out the resentment and vindictiveness In Confessional
I did that
One time the priest asked me : What was YOUR part in it?
Got me to thinking even to this day
Also I agree with Gracia. It’s a process and it comes back as an issue more than once
But we are called to forgive
And God will give us the grace to do that
We need to keep asking Him

 

I deal with with also.. However I have gotten to place now where I stop myself and contemplate Christ during his passion and think of how he felt. His disciples abandoned him, Peter betrayed him, Judas sold him out after spending so much time with him. I think about how much Christ must have taught them and the miracles they must have witnessed and yet they still hurt him in the end, and yet when He first saw them after the resurrection he said "Peace be with you"

 

Keep praying.

The only way you will ever get into heaven is if you forgive them.

Contemplate you own sins. Contemplate you own very great sins

Recall your own lack of forgiveness is because of your own pride,

Imagine Jesus on the Cross and learn humility. Recall yourself before the very Gates of Hell, lost, as a result of this pride.

Forgive. Forgive, forgive.

 

I have struggled with this as well. Often when I begin having these uncharitable thoughts I will begin to sing Ave Maria to myself and it really helps with resentment and especially impure thoughts when they creep up.
One thing I did that helped with a particular person was to offer it up in my prayers at the Sacrifice of the Mass to Our Lord.
Looking at only my part in a particular relationship has helped me as well a great deal. It is an opportunity to practice charity. Pray repeatedly that she obtains everything which you desire.

 

Thanks everyone for your prayers and suggestions, I'll definitely keep everything that has been suggested in mind.

 

I’m struggling with anger again. I’m struggling with anger both towards this individual, and several other individuals and groups. I’m about on a trip, and I’m worried about what will happen in the car on the way, I was praying earlier and I had a real hard time focusing, I just couldn’t take my mind off this.

I really need prayers.

 

Prayers for yourself. I know how you feel. My neighbour this morning when I came home from work gave me the finger out his car window. He must have waited for quite some time in the parking space in front of my apartment to get there, making sure I would not get a parking space. This took very great effort and spite. I was talking to the Lord about it in prayer and he was asking me to think about how I might have provoked this by my own actions. I was still simmering and a little outraged at this and said to the Lord,

"But I am in the right!'

To which He showed me a picture of Himself on the Cross and said,

" I was in the right and look what they did to me!!'

If only forgiveness was a one off thing, but we have to do it over and over and over.

But it is a sure ladder to heaven.

But you're right it is hard; it took me a lap of the park to calm down.

 

'It is not always within your power to control your feelings. You will recognize that you have love if, after having experienced annoyance and contradiction, you do not lose your peace, but pray for those who have made you suffer and wish them well.' Jesus through St. Faustina (Diary, 1628)

 

What a really wonderful, positive quote

 

The people sparking your anger need your prayers too. Try praying for them whenever you feel anger or resentment.

I used to struggle with what you're going through. I went from being their victim to becoming a victim of my own anger and resentment until it dawned on me that I was wallowing in self-pity and the more I wallowed the more pitiful I became. Then I made a conscious decision to forgive them and get on with my life as best I could. I would pray for them whenever memories of old hurts came back to haunt me. And the more I prayed for them, the fewer reminders I had until eventually the memories sparked neither resentment, anger nor self-pity. Free at last, thanks be to God.

 

Oh bless you RosaryWielder, Padraigs posts are pure gold in response to how to react when we are under assault from the enemy of our souls.

One thing I could add to their brilliant responses is. Have you considered how your reactions could sometimes be causing your friends and aquaintances the same anger and resentment towards you. They might even be handling the situations better than you, without you realising it.

Between all of us, the satan loves to interfere with how we perceive what we hear and see, and it is a big scoop for evil when we get annoyed and hold resentment towards one another.

The reality as Padraig mentioned NO ONE gets into Heaven without forgiving. When you think about it, even God Himself has had to forgive EVERY ONE OF US; because we are a fallen race, and we sin as St Paul says even when we don't want to.

Let your will over rule your heart and say. I forgive this person or that person because Jesus forgives me. And do pray for whoever rattles your cage, ask God to help you understand others better. Everyone has good in them, so focus on their good points.

What I have noticed is when I get a great clean slate in confession; old memories of bygone hurts try to invade and spoil the moment. A Priest advised me in confession to ask Jesus to cover my memories with His Precious Blood if this happens. That should send the evil one on his way.

Remember when you are in the state of Grace, you are the light of Christ to those you meet. They may not always be in as good a place as you, and you don't want their human weaknesses to quench the light of Christ in you. They need you to hang on, or you are all in the dark without the light of Christ.

 

Thanks everyone,

I'm trying hard right now, not to let these memories get a hold of me. One thing I am struggling with though, is anger at myself for being like this.

Keep praying for me.

 

More prayers!! I don't know I think it is very human of you to struggle with things like this, I know I do. But I have to say looking back at life struggling with forgiveness was my greatest learning curve. I think it was Mother Teresa of Calcutta who said that ....

 

God be with you, friend. When my anger and hurt makes it difficult to genuinely pray for them, and mean it, I just pray for the grace to love and forgive them, and the capacity to want what is best for them and love them comes back. Jesus sees our desire to be pain and resentment free. Replace thoughts of pain or anger with thoughts of Christ, and let Him in on what you feel. Let His face and love for them melt away the anger. He loves them and died for them, too.

 

I hate to bring this up again, but I'm now struggling a subtle form anger where I get irritated and hit with various uncharitable thoughts here and there, sometimes with the person mentioned above, sometimes about other people I have odds with in the past, sometimes about recent events in the news, &c. This sins really tough, just this morning I had one of those sins while waiting for a fellow-parishioner to pick me up and take me to mass, and I had to get the priest to quickly here this one sin before mass started, than just around two hours ago, I had another instance of these kind of thoughts.

Does anyone have any advice for these kinds of sins?

 

Intrusive thoughts are often part of life. More people struggle with them than you may realize. I do my best to kick the thought out mid-way, and pray for grace instead. It does help!

 

Absolutely powerful story!