Hopefully, it appears that I'm making some advances in my effort to free myself from sin. I have been having greater recourse to Jesus and Mary over this last week, and it seems to be having a positive on my struggles against sin. It appears my main problem now (hopefully) is not mortal sin, but material sins, grave actions done without sufficient reflection. I'm having difficulty keeping custody of my mind and imagination, and I keep letting my mind wonder into entertaining gravely immoral thoughts, without my realizing they're grave until I'm well into them. I think I also may have similar problems with curiosity, where I'll pick apart at something, only to realize later that I've gotten a grave situation in my mind, although I can't remember anything like this happening in recent memory at the moment. I need prayers to overcome these careless material sins.
I have similar problems. Sounds super familiar. Once you realize where you've gone, apologize to God, pray, keep moving. Ask the Blessed Virgin for help keeping your mind pure, too! No matter what our sin problem is, whether lust, anger, pride, excessive curiosity, vanity, ingratitude, or covetousness, she can help us! "Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!"
Maybe, although I can't think of any at the moment. Although that does bring up another problem I have been struggling with, target fixation, but thankfully it hasn't been as bad now, as it was in the past.
I find in my own spirtual life it is better to focus outwards, rather than inwards. Outwards to God rather than looking inwards. Wehn Iwas younger I was constantly aware of my failures and failings. I think that is why souls like myself have to collapse and totally fail in order that God might suceed. I had to touch bottom to rely totally on grace. To let God pick me up and carry me, rather than myself trying to carry God. To loose myself in God rather than to loose God in myself. It is hard to explain. But, put simply, simply to pray and leave the rest to God.
Yes, these types of practices have enabled advance this far, I'm hoping they can advance me further. I'm hoping I can make it to this Thursday, when confession is available at that parish and town I usually go to. I'm hoping that, in addition to fulfilling to fulfilling the requirement for the First Saturday Devotion, I can also gain an indulgence.
Thank you, I believe meekness will be a key aspect of my Sainthood, as I've recently realized, anger seem to be of my key faults. This morning, my mind wandered into a memory that caused anger, and I committed 2 or 3 material sins of anger, and many venial sins. Anger still seems to be a big problem with me, despite the fact that I haven't run into anger that much, since working on these acts of trust, I've only one episode like this before, and minor thoughts of irritation are also quite rare.
