Purging my email account and moving on.

Yesterday, I received a message that my email account is over 90% full. So I started deleting old emails in my account. As I was purging my account, I came across old emails of alerts from a forum site I used to be on.

I did not have a good time on that site, one of my first prayer requests on here was asking for help forgiving someone on that site. My main issue with that person was, almost from the first time we met, she repeatedly assumed negative things about me, I was angry at her over that, and angry at myself for never telling her that that was my problem. I was also angry at that vast majority of the non-Catholics on that site for almost all the reasons one can be angry at non-Catholics for. (apart from persecution, that is.) I was angry at the staff and moderators for their policy and practice that favours non-Catholics and is hostile to Catholics. (Although I realize that is to be expected of any society or community that tries to be secular or ecumenical.) As for the fellow-Catholics on that site, I did not have a good relationship with the majority of them, not only did they also assume negative things about me repeatedly, (though not as much as the woman mentioned above.) but at one point in particular I was away, and they started gossiping and spreading gossip about me. While I did forgive them for that episode and meant it, deep down that event just eradicated any last bit of trust I had for them. (Albeit tension and distrust of them had been building up awhile before this event, in fact it precisely the reason why I was away.) And so in short I’ve had a lot of anger against the people on the site, and I have hated and continue to hate that site.

However in regards to removing emails of that site from my account, I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I have had angry feelings from the past resurface. On the other I have also had feelings of closure and do believe that in the end, it will ultimately let me move on.

I would like prayers that I can receive whatever grace and benefits I can get out of purging my email account, and really forgive and move on; repenting of the bad things I’ve said and done, and leaving the bad things they’ve done between them and God.

 

RW, I am an old lady. My prayer, as I get closer to my final end, is that God will forgive me for all the people I have hurt, and forgive all the people who have hurt me.
Also , “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
Just delete the emails.

 

Praying for you RW. Closure is hard for us all sometimes. Just rest in Our Lady's mantle.

 

I know, it's just difficult to sort through my email account to find all the irrelevant emails to delete. I'm using my desktop email account which shows the emails when I select them, so I can't help but read them when I click on them.

 

Praying for you RosaryWielder. May your heart be blessed with peace.

 

I was getting angry at someone the other night and the Lord said to me, 'Don't let what's in their heart jump into yours!' Anger is a bit like fleas that jump from one dog unto the next. The best cure for these anger fleas is the water of forgivenness. Let these issues remain other people problems rather than yours.

I am finding as I get older I am communicating much less with people and whenI do so it is mostly on the Spiritual. Too much hot air leads to hot tempers.

I had a strange sad thing happen ot last week. A nice ,very queit young man has moved into our building and he had bought a little pup. As I was walking in the fornt door of the building I did not see him coming behind with the puppy and let the heavy door swing sht on the poor creature who squelled.

The young man began to shout at me angily and at first I answered him quietly and apoligised for what had happened. He cointued to shout and curse. I asked him if he accepted my apology. He sidi he did but contuned to shout and swear at me.

Eventually I lost my tmeper and shouted back and when I start I can fairly holler.

Tonight I learnt the young man has left the building. Sigh . I don't think he was well and I think my shouting scared him out.

So sad. I would have been better to keep my tongue in check. The anger fleas on his tongue had jumped onto my own.

 

I, too, have experienced anger fleas.

 

Its a wonderful good sign when you and exercise Discernment on the source of your anger. It really helps. In this case you identified the Flu, which is very simple and natural enough. No big problem.

In my case I think it is Disrespect that sets me crazy. I have no idea why..I wish I did

My father used to go into the most crazy fits of rage when he saw water spilt on the ground. I used to wonder why? Maybe a childhood event? (He had scars on his back from where boiling water had landed there as a baby)

But it's so good to find triggers.

Grace is everything of course. But I do feel God expects us to make some effort on our own behalf to heal these things..

 

I hate when this happens ​

 

In the late 1990s to early 2000's (that much younger) I wasn't where I should be, spiritually speaking, and with immense personal pressures.

I got involved on a message board which yielded a lot of good online friends but also two highly unpleasant persons.

For whatever reason (younger, hotter tempered), I saved certain exchanges to an e-mail folder.

Two years ago I was stunned to find these folders; why had I saved that stuff???

I deleted everything.

You're doing the right thing in moving on.

 

A nifty trick to avoiding anger fleas: Be conscious of your rate of breathing during unpleasant encounters/exchanges. Seek to control it; to breathe at your normal rate.

Absolutely do NOT allow yourself to match your breathing with the other person's.

 

One other thing I'd like to add: Someone will always hate you no matter what, RW.

Some people are angry or bitter (usually both), and hatred is their way of expressing it. Some realize it...some don't. Or some people are sadistic by nature. They want others to feel crummy or angry.

In June 2017, husband and I visited my hometown. My parents became very hated by many for their vocal religious (Protestant) views, despite it being a Protestant majority town. Serious denominational differences (doctrines mainly). Some of that hatred spilled over onto my sister and I (as kids to early teens).

Husband and I went to the town's cemetery to pay respects. A man in a pickup truck noticed us trying to find a grave. He (roughly my age) stopped to help, introduced himself (he's 3 years older and a cousin of his was a classmate of mine). I knew what his reaction to discovering who I am would be - a look of disdain and scornful amusement (which he quickly tried to hide). He did help us find that grave, and left us without a word.

Rejection. Contempt. AGAIN.

From 1979 to 2017. DECADES.

Some people don't change. I've accepted that sad fact.

The best we can do is forgive, continue abiding by the Golden Rule, etc.

 

I can see a lot of wounds from which my anger stems when I take look. Two things I'm taking notice of right now, are my habit of viewing anger as a weapon, (which is probably also, a key source of my scrupulosity as well, I was yelled at a lot as a child.) and also, my desire for control.

In regards to my desire for control, I'm trying to focus more on the fact that God is always in control, and His will is always all-good. I'm trying to pray more for Christ the King to rule over my heart, that Immaculate of Our Lady of Fatima to already triumph and reign in my interior.

I've realized while typing this, that another big third factor, that plays a role in my anger, is may difficulty in trusting people. Since my latter childhood I've had a hard time trusting people, and am sensitive to anything that resembles a slight to me.

 

Yes, I need to work on that, work on having a zeal like the Canadian Martyrs. I need stop being angry and work on meekly speaking the Truth in Love, not letting what others think get between God and I.

 

Yes, I'm almost finished now, hopefully I'll be finished by this evening.

Thanks everyone for your support.

 

Alright, I deleted them all, however this morning I still struggled with angry thoughts. Keep praying for me, hopefully I'll have closure very soon, I trust in Our Lord's grace.

 

Put on your Teflon armor and let it roll off your back
Unite this bad feeling to the sufferings of Our Lord
Plenty of people were mean to Him

 

I was reading the Life of St Peter Favre last night you can gt it very cheaply on Amazon. A new reprinting of a very old book. Maybe a century or two.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/life-Bless...ter+favre&qid=1576858525&s=books&sr=1-1-fkmr1




But one thing it mentions about the saint and we find in the life of many other saints is this;

That in confronting and battling dyed in the wool or habitual sins they took time out to do so. They took time out for periods of intense prayer, fasting and penance. They went into the boxing ring ,so to speak.

I think this is a great tip.

 

Prayers, RW. I've done this, too. Moving on can be difficult, but healing in the long run. God bless you, and Merry Christmas!