Dear friends, Please forgive my ongoing absence. I too am going through difficult crosses. When my wife left me seven months after multiple stokes in 2016, I hoped and prayed there would be a reconciliation. We were married 26 years at the time. After not hearing from her for years, a good holy elderly traditional priest told me in confession that it’s time to stop looking for rapprochement, and to make concrete what has been an obvious reality for seven years now - there is no marriage. He also encouraged me to look at the annulment process. I applied for divorce in December. The divorce documents kept trickling in over a very difficult Lent, picking at a wound that has not healed in 8 years now. The divorce was just finalized last week but I’m not likely to pursue an annulment. In the meantime my PCP’s office refused to renew tramadol, a low grade pain medication I have taken for chronic post stroke nerve pain in my left leg from the strokes, at the same dose every day for eight years. It controls the pain adequately. When I don’t take it I get post stroke muscle spasms/ jerks in my left leg and foot and I cannot sleep once they start. And I desperately need good sleep because I also suffer from chronic post stroke fatigue. The doctors here are terrified of the DEA witch-hunt against them for prescribing chronic pain meds. I’m on a tapering dose of the tramadol and I’m down to one tablet a night from four every day. One of the side effects of coming off this medication after so long is severe insomnia. I’m really suffering from the left leg and foot pain as well as muscle spasms and insomnia that only lets me sleep 2 to 4 hours a night. I’m so tired I can’t stay awake but cannot sleep due to the pain and muscle spasms. They’ve offered very little to substitute for this except referral to a pain clinic. (I don’t need a pain clinic. My pain is very easily controlled by a low grade medication, and it’s been prescribed by all my previous PCPs during that time.) I desperately need 10 to 12 hours of sleep a day to function properly so I’m a walking zombie right now and for the foreseeable future. This year so far has been one of real physical, emotional and spiritual pain. I would truly appreciate your prayers. God bless, Brian
Prayers now and offering up Mass. Everything that happens to us happens for a reason Brian. Christ is never closer than when we hang on the Cross. Prayers to St Joseph
I heard a discussion this morning on BBc Radio on Euthanasia. Two female Anglican Ministers, a Rabbi and a Sikh . The only one against was an Anglican Minister, but only because she thought it might be misused . The key thing they all missed was the Cross. That as we die with Christ so we will live with Him The Cross is at the center of everything. Everything. It has been said of Our Lady that thoughts of the Passion were never out of her thoughts. It should be so for ourselves also.
You know, looking back on my own life the periods of my greatest pain were the times of the greatest graces. For instance it was when in despair I was actively planning to kill myself that Our Lady came. Great pain; great joy. We often must touch the very bottom before we touch the sky
God bless you and keep you Brian. Prayers for relief of the suffering and for perseverance in hope that relief will come, according to His Holy Will for you ~
Praying. A pain management dr may prescribe the Tramadol. I think the MDs regulatory boards are forcing all the pain meds to be done through them. They made my husband use one because he needs neurontin and a muscle relaxer at bedtime.
Oh, Brian, I'm sorry you're suffering so much. I was on tramadol but only for a few days because it didn't work for me and upset my stomach. The replacement they gave me didn't work either but the latest one is giving me some relief and I was able to go to Mass today for the first time in ages. Mine is, hopefully, a short term issue and not nearly as serious as yours. The reason I'm telling you this is that a few people recommended that I ask the doc for pain patches because that's what worked for them. If your doc can't prescribe pills that can be addictive, maybe you could get the pain patches instead. I will surely pray for you and will have Mass offered.
May Our Lady open a door for you! O Jesus, help Brian to carry this heavy Cross. Come to his aid and open a door!
Sorry you are suffering like this, Brian. Praying that God will bless you with a compassionate doctor.
