I am struggling so hard to pray -- I have a virus (not covid) that has laid me low, I'm in isolation as son has covid, my grandson's not well, my father's not well and there is a great deal of discouragement all around. I've had a tough week. I'm shattered as I hardly slept a wink last night - so awake I was able to pray a full -- Rosary, Joyful, Sorrowful and Glorious mysteries during the night but God seemed a million miles. But I struggle to pray. I force myself. It is a battle. I must pray even when I am so low. It is a fight against myself. And the evil one tries so hard to discourage and that is when I know it is the right thing to do. We live as we pray and we pray as we live. Union with God, I want union with God so much that is why I must battle to pray. It is spiritual life and death. We must never forget Christians are warriors, the road is narrow and tough but ultimately we will make the summit -- and union with Christ & the Holy Trinity for all eternity.
Luke 5v15&16 But the news about Jesus spread all the more, and great crowds came to hear Him and to be healed of their sicknesses. Yet he frequently withdrew to the wilderness to pray. The wilderness of the prayer life - I went out to the wilderness searching for you - but you were gone - Where have you hidden my beloved, why have you wounded my soul?
I think often the greatest prayer we can offer is our apparent failure to pray. The trying gets you flying. The bottom line is not what we think of our prayers but what the Good God thinks of them and He very often has very,very different ways of viewing things than we have.
I am re-reading In Sinu Jesu at the moment and I prayed the Lord to give me a passage for you. I opened the book and read this: "...have recourse to My five glorious wounds and, above all else, trust in My Sacred Heart's love for you. Nothing touches Me as much as a soul who trusts Me and counts on Me alone." The first sentence above before the three dots starts with "Continue to honour and adore My Precious Blood," but it was the part about recourse the the wounds that stuck out when I saw the passage. So I'll share this chaplet to the Holy Wounds here, which is short and said on the usual Rosary beads. Christ made promises to Sr Chambon for those who pray it: “With My Wounds and My Divine Heart you can obtain everything.” I agree with Padraig, staying with Christ despite intense struggles must increase what we can offer Him. Courage and strength to you.
those are the greatest prayers.....the dry prayers...we get nothing from it but God gets EVERYTHING from it. Stay well friend....I went through this during cancer treatment. This too shall pass. Think of the Footprints prayer. Jesus is carrying you now and there is only one set of footprints....
Desire to pray in the midst of such difficulties is a prayer in and of itself. Repeating the Name of Jesus reverently is a prayer--a powerful prayer. Ask your angel to pray while you rest and heal. (These are all things I have had to do in like circumstances.) Praying for you and your dear ones today with renewed earnestness!
I feel kind of similar to you, garabandal. Our family went for a short vacation to San Francisco and I came back sick with pnemonia (not Covid). Prior to that, I was attending daily Mass and praying most of the day. I feel let down, but Saint Teresa of Calcutta comes to mind and how she had periods of not feeling the presence of Jesus even while she was the face of Faith to so many of us in the world. I hope you feel better soon and also your loved ones, too.
I once went on a short retreat which I’d been looking forward to. But when I tried to pray it was all ‘sand and gravel’, zero consolations, nada. God can be a coy lover. In times of aridity the rosary and the divine office are so useful. The well can run dry but it will fill up again!
Padraig's response says it all, "The trying gets you flying!" In your weariness, garabandal, keep plugging. If you fall and there is no consolation, don't stop! Get up and pray some more. We're with you! There are days I pray the Liturgy of the Hours only because I promised my bishop to do so! Ecstasy, what's that? O Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!
thank you for this post- you words resonated with me. My experience is very similar. I’m “tired” but know the battle continues. I need a spiritual recharge. Strength, courage, conversion. The Rosary, confession, the Eucharist are my weapons.
I will pray for you Garabandal, but you're an inspiration. I, too, am sick and my baby and toddler kept me up all night last night. I, however, did not pray 3 rosaries like you! All I managed was offering it up instead of being miserable about it like I usually would, lol, and praying "Jesus, Mary, Joseph, I love you; save souls" over and over. It helped that I have a very specific favor I'm hoping God will help me with... My 24-year-old brother who's been away from the Church for years has agreed to come to the Latin Mass with me for the first time this coming Sunday, and I'm so very hopeful that he will feel God's presence there and a flame will be lit in his heart. I've been praying for him for so, so long... He was the subject of one of the only 2 times I've ever audibly heard the voice of God (when he was a young teen and God told me while I was in prayer in church, "Bring him to Me!" So this is something I've wanted to help God with and haven't succeeded yet for years. Anyway, as your prayers during aridity are extra powerful, will you please ask God to grant my brother graces of conversion he can no longer refuse?
Thank you for your kind responses. I really appreciate your prayers - in return I pray for all the intentions of everyone on the forum. We may feel God distant - but we cannot rely on feelings - feelings are fleeting - the reality is God is with us intimately in our struggles. God is Love, God is Intimacy - there is a bond of trust - He loves me and I love Him. Even in the darkest moments there is always a flicker of light. The light of faith. We see as through a glass dimly but He is Love. He is Love. Trust in that love. Love that always draws us deeper in union with Him. His love is fact. God is Love.
I try to sit before the Blessed Sacrament several times a week.....very restoring. Just meditate, no formal prayers letting God infuse His Strength....Gas up!
Just saw this thread. Truth! I will pray for your intentions, garabandal and all here. if you need a smile, my spell checker wanted me to type garage band instead of garabandal
The very best times are the very hard times. The harder the are the better. Probably in the course of the usual run of life we get totally nailed to the Cross about four or five times in the course of our lives ( apart from our Last Agony). I mean suffering and trials shat brings us to the uttermost bottom of ourselves. All else are random Autumn leaves that pass before our eyes. Thank God for the Crosses He sends us. The bigger the better. It's the Crosses we are sent and the way we handle them make us the souls we are. Some people get totally, totally nailed down some do not. But the bigger the XCross the higher your place in heaven will be.
