Hello everyone, it's been a long time since I've written in this forum, but I'm happy to see some familiar faces again. I was in a relationship with a girl who is much younger than me. We met two and a half years ago, and over time, we fell in love. Her name is Valentina, and as fate would have it, today is Saint Valentine's Day. Unfortunately, she broke up with me a month ago. She says she no longer feels secure with me and believes I don't love her (which is not true, since I would do everything for her). Consequently, she told me she doesn't love me anymore and prefers to be alone to focus on her university studies. She said I'm a good guy, but not what she's looking for. Deep down, she's unfortunately a very insecure and jealous person. It seems my efforts to make her feel secure and loved weren't enough, even though I've never done anything behind her back, never cheated on her, or even talked about other girls. To try and get back together with her, I thought of creating a printed photo album with all our happiest moments from the past two and a half years. It's something she would have really appreciated a long time ago, but I'm not sure about now. I was thinking of having it delivered to her as a surprise through one of her relatives, today. I don't know how she'll react. On one hand, I'm afraid she might react badly, but on the other, I wholeheartedly hope she might give me another chance to show her my love, perhaps in a different way. I don't go to Mass often, I admit, but we once made a promise to each other to try and go at least once a month. She is still young, though believer. And so we did, going once a month. I know God can't control someone's heart, but after all the good things I hope I've done for her, and having always prayed for her too, I hope that in some way she might appreciate my gesture and give me another chance. Thanks to anyone who can help...
Any type of peaceful separation would be best at this time, Pijon. It appears your feelings for her remain strong. Continue to offer everything up to Our Lord and ask Mary to wrap you in her Mantle of Motherly love. I would resolve to solidify your most important relationship, that with Jesus Christ, by at least attending Holy Mass every Sunday and Holy Day of Obligation. This is the minimum that Christ asks of us, and since our relationship with God is our most important, our obedience to Him and Mother Church is a crucial step in living that out. Regular Confession is indispensable! Every morning, I start my day with this offering of commitment, for my relationship with the Holy Trinity is the most important in my life, more so than my wife and children: Most Holy Trinity, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, I adore Thee profoundly and I offer You my prayers, works, joys, and sufferings of this day. Enable me to do everything out of love for You and according to Your Will. Make me steadfast in living my Christian vocation: patient in suffering, and courageous in proclaiming my Faith. Fill me with wisdom on life's journey and charity in dealing with others. Free me from sin and from all evil. May Your grace always remain with me and with those who are dear to me. Amen!
My 2 cents? Give her some space. Get into God's good graces first. Get in the state of grace. Go to confession. Have a good confession with a prayerful examination of conscience. And start every day with a prayer. One prayer. The morning offering. More prayers will hopefully come later. But just commit to that one prayer every day in the morning. Go to Mass every Sunday. After a few months approach God in prayer before the Blessed Sacrament and then tell him about this relationship and your concerns. He will direct you on the correct path He always does.
So wise. Prayers that God's Will be done, for you both and most especially for your immortal soul. Nothing matters more than your Eternal Salvation.
You have my prayers!! I feel for you as navigating Catholic single/dating life is so hard, I'm going thru the same thing in that regard. I agree with the above advice, stay in a state of Grace, frequent the Sacraments. She could be pushing you away due to her own insecurities when it comes to relationships. I agree with giving her some space, giving it all to God & if you still feel God is calling you to pursue her, give it one more chance. There's so much brokenness in this world & in relationships that I think ppl are scared to even take a chance, so they'll push a person away or won't take a chance at all, when it comes to dating. God bless you both, God wants all relationships to glorify Him, esp those we could potentially marry!
I'll add you to my prayers. Relationships are always tough. Time to pick up that rosary and make mass a normal occurrence.
