I felt "close " to Jesus in the suffering earlier but it seems to have faded away. Hopefully the peace will come again. It's a battle at times but will keep praying.
God looks at your will. That's all that matters. He doesn't look at your feelings. So if you feel hopeless and far from God, but you WANT to be close to Him, then God has you close to Him. Your desire to be close to Him, together with God's grace, is enough.
I trust you go to Adoration regularly? Are you familiar with the St Michael Chaplet? It invokes all 9 Choirs of Angels through the Hail Mary & Our Father. Don't forget to include Fasting, offering that along with your prayers.
Our Lady of Medjugorje’s May 25, 2026 Monthly Message for the World May 25, 2026 “Dear children, May this time be for you a time of prayer and fasting. Return, little children, in love to God Who is your peace. I am with you, little children, and I love you with my motherly tenderness. Thank you for having responded to my call.”