Many, many years ago when i was in the monastery I decided to sleep on the floor. I didn't do it as a penance. I just felt sorry for the poor people who slept on the streets and did it to be with them them, sleeping in the doorways. So I did it in pity.. It was such a cold Winter. Snow every where. The Holy Water Fonts all froze up . So to be with them I turned off my radiator, opened the windows. Lost all my furniture. Just the bare cell. Me and the blanket. For a few months. I had no pillow, so I got a Big Bible for a pillow. To make things harder I used to ring the monastery bells to wake them up at 3'30 am for office prayers. So I had to wake up about 3:15 . But this went on a while; then I started to keep waking up with a feeling something was pulling my blanket off me. I thought it was my imagination till one night my blanket was pulled very violently off me and over to the end of the room. When I looked at it sitting there I tried to convince myself I had tossed and turned. But, no, my blanket had gone sailing in the night and it wasn't me. This continued. No one can tell me that the devil does not exist. He does. Eventually I had to stop sleeping on the floor . Someone opened the door and saw what I was doing and they soon put a stop to it. But looking back at it I would say it was maybe one of the happiest periods of my life.
I have felt the power of God. Once I was in a small earthquake in California. It was a 5.3 early in the a.m. I could feel the power coming from the earth and a large groan with it. That was in addition to the shaking, People were totally helpless. Another time, our house was hit by a small tornado. The whole side of our house was vibrating, we ran down to the lower level and heard the roaring wind. It did not destroy out house, just peeled back part of the roof, took the shutters off the house and uprooted trees around us. You could feel and sense the power. When I was at Niagara Falls I could feel the power in the water. It is God's power. We have no control over the earth . . .when God wants to demonstrate His Power we are helpless. Those who 'think' they are in power have no clue. But someday they will realize how small and tiny and what nothings we are. I am feeling it won't be long and God will show HIs power to all of the earth.
God is not a Pussy Cat. We cannot hold Him on our lap and pet Him. He is the Lion of Judah. He does exactly as He pleases. For He is God. Not exactly as we please. We must conform ourselves to His Holy Will; Not He to ours. 'The Fear of the Lord is the Beginning of Wisdom'
I expect your desire to be with the poor was more powerful than an actual penance. I think it must have been very consoling to Jesus and the devil was furious. Thus the blanket tossing. I always knew the devil was real. I battled him in my dreams as a child. Night after night sometimes. As a young adult when I returned to the faith the dream battles began again. Strange. Now I am oldand rarely have those dreams any more. The struggle is all with myself and my own failings . The seasons of the spiritual life I guess. I have a friend who prays doggedly in front of the Blessed Sacrament every day and goes to daily Mass even though she gets no consolation. Quite the opposite. But she keeps on with it with sheer faith and will power. She has stuff happen like you describe. I expect her prayers are very powerful but she has no sense of it at all. She is a saint in the making but she cant see it. She thinks she is an utter failure but she plods along back to the Blessed Sacrament. Praying and making atonement for priests.
I battled him in my dreams as a child. Night after night sometimes. As a young adult when I returned to the faith the dream battles began again. Strange. Now I am oldand rarely have those dreams any more. The struggle is all with myself and my own failings . AED this has happened exactly to me also..However I just didn't realize that was what was happening then. Though I still think he has a hand in my day to day struggles., he is just more cleverly discreet about it leading me to think he is not active and it is just my imagination.
I am so sorry for people who do not really believe in the devil (in any real way.. I mean that they see him a reality..as someone who can effect their lives one way or another in a very real way..who is not some pie in the sky). My earliest dream about the devil was I think when I was about three years old. I dream I was in the most beautiful lush garden (I think I was back in heaven, before I was born in a way, a kind of Garden of Eden..Paradise) . Then along came the most beautiful huge butterfly which landed on my arm. But it stung me causing me such pain I screamed and began to turn black. and poisoned. I think that butterfly was the devil. Your friend reminds me of an article I read recently on St Cardinal John Henry Newman. He always considered himself a total failure. I was a bit incredulous of that at first. He was after all a Cardinal. A genius. The top theologian of the century. A saint. The Founder of a Religious Institute. A brilliant writer with perhaps the best style in the English language. He laid many tens of thousands to the Faith. What's not to like? But on the other hand there is a huge long list of apparent, 'failures'. His family, friends and society turned their backs on him when he converted. There was much jealousy of him from higher Catholic Clergy. There was a long time strong suspicion of his orthodoxy from the Vatican. Many of his enterprises such as a new University in Ireland appeared to flounder and so on. Much the same could be said of others such a Blessed Archbishop Fulton Sheen. This, 'failure' , in the lives of many of God's saints seems to me to be so common as to be regarded as a necessity. Look for instance at the cowardice of the Apostles Fleeing the Garden and leaving Jesus alone. Look at St Peter denying Jesus three times. Look even at Mary and Joseph finding no room at the Inn and having to Flee to Egypt. In some sense God makes our defeats out victories. But we have to have the defeats first. We can't convert unless first we see the need to convert, that we have something, a failure, to convert from. You know all Good Catholics are Failures. we're all fleeing to Egypt. Why? Because the devil is the Prince of this World. Always was. Always will be. I
It is three o'clock in the afternoon and I am getting ready to go to mass. But already it seems so dark outside!! I wonder sometimes if a Great, Great Darkness has not fallen on our poor world. This always bring me joy, Divine Mercy. 3'PM
Wow. I can't imagine. I sometimes wake myself up muttering (yelling in the dream) either whole or partial words like, "In the name of Jesus Christ, get away! I command you in the name of Jesus..." Most recent two months (?) ago.* I then sensed that a presence had been near my left shoulder. Nothing precluded this (I'd fallen asleep peacefully after an unremarkable day). The most vivid of such dreams occurred in 2005. I (then a Protestant and soon to begin attending an Episcopalian church) dreamed of commanding evil spirits to depart while yanking a big (Protestant - empty) cross off a wall and swinging it about like a sword (I have no sword fighting knowledge or skills) - I was REALLY going at it. *added after initial posting for clarification.
Yes, I 'm much the same. Their is a wonderful Exorcist in the USA called Fr Ripperger . He says the demons work on the imagination. That how how he likes to attack. Not only in sleep. If say we are walking on our own at nights in some lonely place he can work on our imagination. The demon , which Scripture tells us prowls by day is a different kind of kettle of fish. I also think if you look at the sky you an see the Some evil spirits of the air are redesigning the clouds in their own foul images.
From Wikipedia: "Pope Francis, a day after his appointment as the new Roman Pontiff, visited the Grotto of Our Lady of Lourdes on the afternoon of 15 March 2013 and offered prayers before the statue of the Virgin Mary.[3]" - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grotta_di_Lourdes
How really weird. A lot of this stuff has me scratching my head. The Holy Father often displays Great devotion to Our Lady. Go figure. He opened this truly wonderful sculpture of St Michael the Arcangel (commissiond by Pope Benedict) in the Gardens) Marvellous. Matthew 7:21 A Tree and its Fruit …20So then, by their fruit you will recognize them. 21Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of My Father in heaven. 22Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’…
By the way Pope Francis said that St Michael, 'Represents the power of God over evil' This is theologically incorrect. St Michael actually exists. He is a real person. Not a , 'Representation'. Nor was Jesus a really nice , wise Jew. He night have been really nice (though sometimes not so nice, He might have been a Jew. But He was actually God, the Messiah, the Saviour of the World..and yes..I know it's incredible....but yes, He did rise from the dead). You mightn't believe it, but this rigid old Pharisee does. But perhaps I'm a crank. I admit Pope Francis; if he were to say, 'The sun is shining', I would check it out. I'm really, really not too big into the guy. As you might have gathered. https://www.popefrancisthedestroyer.com/2014/02/st-michael-archangel-not-pleased-with.html
Yeah, it's really hard to figure him out; I don't I just pray for that Christmas Miracle, but it is true that really tell what is position really is and what he really believes.
That kind of reminds me of the Muslim claim that the Holy Spirit is just Jibreel. (there perverse understanding of Saint Gabriel the Archangel) Not that I consider Pope Francis to hold Mohammedan views, nor do I have any desire to learn if his sympathy for Muslims go beyond mere ecumenism.
Oh I don't know its all so sad. Very, very , sad.. Is it any wonder Our Lady cries? All over the world?
