To continue to take up one's Cross is an act of love in the midst of darkness. Prayers for you, Sanctus! O Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!
Sanctus is there anyone you can talk to about this? A friend who is devoutly Catholic or a priest. This is a terrible thing to endure on your own.
Perhaps it's the Divine Will coming into my life, AED. I know for much of my life I ran on self-will, so there will inevitably be discomfort when His will is coming in to my life. It's all about living in the Divine Will, I think.
I wonder what others perceive as a dark night of the soul. Some of the times in my life when I must have been under that umbrella was before the internet and all I could think then, was it must be my own fault. Never thought to mention it to a Priest, as it seemed like complaining to talk about. Never told anyone till now. On one spell that lasted for months and months, I thought I must be suffering from depression. I believed I was a predestined lost soul, sounds crazy doesn't it, and that nagging thought pestered me for ages. It got so bad, getting out of bed in the morning was too much. And what got me going was a bird that used to chirp outside the window and annoy the dickens out of me until I got up to get away from the sound of that nagging bird. It is important to add that battle with the bird lasted for over an hour sometimes, truly. The bird always won. What cured me at that particular juncture was, I got up one day and said, Lord God, even if You have created me for the pit. I choose to honour and serve You while I have the freedom to choose here on this planet. Whatever added sufferings it will bring me in the hereafter is beyond me, for I believed the devil would punish me more for praising God once he got his claws on me in the pit. And I would praise all the good things God had done in my life, and thank Him for His fairness even to a soul who seemed to be destined for the scrap heap in eternity. That did certainly cure me on that spell of darkness. Any time those feeling came, I would speak to God and say, I praise You for all the good You have done in my life. Those times are too intense to think about the Redemption Jesus Christ earned for us. This comes later when the recovery begins and it is a slow process in my experience, not a big bang recovery. There were others but that stands out the most in my memory. Just sharing in case it helps others who might be in a bad place...temporarily.
I might ring my doctor today and book in to hospital for a couple of weeks. It is fairly torturous at times.
Saint Michael, Holy Archangel, defend Sanctus in his hour of battle, Be his protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke the evil one, I truly pray. And do thou Prince of the Heavenly Host, cast satan down to hell, And with it all the evil spirits who wonder throughout the world, Seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.
It was so good of you to post this Julia. I’m betting many will benefit from your experience. Life seems to be very rough going for almost everyone I know these days....maybe it was always this way.....? Getting through this life to make it successfully into eternal life most likely requires redemptive suffering....easier said than done, but the rewards are eternal. Sometimes just knowing that at one time or other, most go through a trial...to a lesser or greater degree. Those with faith still suffer, but they unlike others, understand the redemptive value. This can make the going more tolerable. God bless the faithful who would choose to be victim souls...not a easy life, but heavens rewards await.
Perfect prayer. St. Michael is there for all of us....call upon him throughout the day when you feel oppressed. He will not let you down. I love him so much and can not wait to meet him....God willing.
Julia...this little bird, annoying as it was, likely was heavens way of forcing you into life. Your “guardian angel“ with the wings of a different sort..... “And what got me going was a bird that used to chirp outside the window and annoy the dickens out of me until I got up to get away from the sound of that nagging bird.“
Please keep us posted Sanctus. I will pray for you at my Adoration Hour this morning. Tomorrow I go to the monastery and I will enter your name in their book of intercessions. Please do not under any circumstances give up hope. Praying!!!! This could be biochemical so seeing your doctor is a really good idea.
Oh yes, God has used creatures on more than one occasion in my life. I did share in the past how God used Robins to call me to pray for a soul before their demise. So when you see a robin, say a Divine Mercy Chaplet for whatever soul God wants to extend His Mercy to. Praised be Jesus and Mary. late last year, a neighbours dog absolutely refused to walk past my house until the owner allowed it to come and greet me. She was so embarressed and said her old dog had never done that to anyone before. We started to talk and she told me her daughter had recently died young leaving teenage children. I added her daughter to the prayers for the Holy Souls in November. Her dog had been very fond of her daughter who had died. Gods creatures are truly amazing.
I did hear Father Peter Glas and other Priests say there are a lot of people in hospital getting treatment for illness that need a Priest to pray over them. I hope you will ask a Priest to pray for you. If you ask for the Sacrament of the sick before you go to hospital, that would be good. Please God you will get suitable medical treatment once you talk to your doctor. Please give God a chance through a Priestly blessing too. We will keep you in our prayers.
Thanks everyone. It seems to have been more of a breakthrough than a breakdown. Seems to be a familiar pattern lately where things seem to be getting worse but end up improving in the end eventually. Trusting in God. Thanks again for the prayers, they seem to be helping.
Thank you Sanctus. Sharing your struggle will have opened an opportunity for others to share their struggles and with the help of God they may find they are not alone, and it will pass. God bless you and take care of you.
Thanks Julia. The cross seems to be particularly heavy the past three years, but it will lead to good things in time, no doubt.
Sanctus, It appears you are suffering terribly. I'm not sure where you live. Is there someone nearby to whom you can go for spiritual counsel? To be able to sit down with someone is important. And if you could do so every month, even better. If you go to a physician, they may be able to run tests that could determine if you have any deficiencies from a physiological angle. Could you be suffering from depression? I ask these questions because your suffering has been ongoing for some time. Is there any chemical imbalance or is this difficulty primarily spiritual? Are you back to regular confession, again? I think you need to approach this one step at a time; a process of elimination. It is tempting to label it the Dark Night of the Soul, but generally speaking the Dark Night is a grace given by God to those who are mature in their prayer life. I certainly am not making a judgment in your regard, but I do care very much! Everyone here on MOG will continue to support you in prayer. You are never alone! Remind yourself everyday of the Love Jesus has for you. Read Luke 7:36-50 regularly to remind yourself! Pax Christi!
It's hard to know what to do, I'm 35 now and have been suffering more or less for the past 17 years with different things. It can be really tiring at times. Perhaps it is redemptive suffering. I dabbled in things innocently as a very naive teenager but it was to have grave consequences later, opening up doorways to further misfortune in later life like New Age, Shamanism etc. Many misfortunate teenagers fall into a similar trap by innocently messing around in stuff like satanic music, ouiji boards etc. when they don't know any better. Have been reading some literature from Father Gabriele Amorth and Jesse Romero to help get a better understanding and trying to break any hold the evil one may have on my life. Please God the bondage will be broken some time!
