An extra rosary for you Brian. I will also pray to Ven Marie Adele Garnier foundress of the Tyburn Nuns for you and ask them to pray for you in their monasteries across the world. God love you.
Thanks Joe. They started me on Adderal two weeks after I was at the inpatient rehab hospital. It's prescribed for ADHD but used off label for fatigue following stroke. Interestingly I found evidence in the literature that it can increase speed of recovery in some stroke patients because it increases the "elasticity" of the brain tissue. After 6 weeks on it, I had my first follow up visit with the stroke clinic. They discontinued the Adderal because it can complicate cardiac troubles (I had triple bypass at age 42) and elevate blood pressure (conceptually at least) which I'm treated for too. So they stated me on Provigil, the Narcolepsy drug. Its safe and kept me awake and is actually a fascinating drug in the way it improves concentration and the ability to stay on task for longer periods. Because of that it is prescribed much more often off label for ADHD than for Narcolepsy. But it can cause Stevens Johnson Syndrome, so if any skin symptoms start, you have to stop it right away. So I either sleep 14 hours a day now, and have no energy, or try the Adderal again. Neither are ... optimal. A friend of ours suffers from MS. He says the fatigue gets so bad it's actually painful. They're using the Provigil now for MS related fatigue, and it's been the best medication they ever tried for his MS symptoms. But I know what he means about being so fatigued it hurts.
Your Crosses are certainly huge , Brain. I am curious did you ever pray to God to explain why these Crosses are placed on your shoulder? God has His reasons for everything and I always think of Him as a gentleman who will always , if He can clue us in. I know I am forever embarrassed in the the Light of the saints and others how very little I suffer in my own life. I can see the point of staying awake at night as it gives me time for Vigil prayers, just like monks in a monastery. It is, for instance a t tnoght when I am praying that I get o think about what to write on the forum the next day. All I have to do then when I wake up is write own what has already been given to me. I would not be able to do this if I had not had time to pick up on this stuff during the night.
I think, Cathy that there are Devotions that are never ever absent from the lives of all the saints. The first in devotion to the Passion and the second devotion to Mother of God. Always,always present. St Francis of Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life, Part II, Chapter I. The Necessiy of Prayer, N.2 But especially I commend earnest mental prayer to you, more particularly such as bears upon the Life and Passion of our Lord. If you contemplate Him frequently in meditation, your whole soul will be filled with Him, you will grow in His Likeness, and your actions will be moulded on His. He is the Light of the world; therefore in Him, by Him, and for Him we shall be enlightened and illuminated__ “The greatest saints, those richest in grace and virtue will be the most assiduous in praying to the most Blessed Virgin, looking up to her as the perfect model to imitate and as a powerful helper to assist them.” --Saint Louis Marie de Montfort
Physical, mental, spiritual - you have it full force on all fronts. You're a real tough old buzzard. Keep om buzzing and I will keep on praying.
If we look at the soul , on the other hand where Jesus is not present we see something very different. We see a dark cave, full of bats and crawling things from which there is a dark stench. Worst of all if we look at the abck of this cavernous place we the orange reflection of the fires of hell. For just as those who have Jesus in their hearts are in the very hallway of heaven so those who have rejected Christ sstand in the very hallway of hell. As well as this the spirit , like nature itself abhores a vacuum and the soulsof those who reject Christ becomes a dwelling place for demons.
Honestly, no. I told God a while back that if I were able, and it wouldn't be too much for me to handle or place my soul at risk, and I could still support my family, and I wasn't saying it out of personal pride, I'd be willing to carry more of a cross than my daily sacrifices in reparation for my own sins and if it would help souls that might otherwise be lost. I guess there were a lot of strings attached on my part in those days, a lot of "conditional" surrender. But as time moved on, and I grew to understand how serious things had become in the Church and in the world, I got to the point that, as each cross was accepted and the fear of the next one faded, I would simply say to Him, "ok, I'm ready now, your will be done." And honestly it's been a sweet, joyous journey. Each stage has been accompanied by small miracles and major blessings, and frankly my wife and I have never laughed so much together as we have since the strokes. Staff would often check on us, quizzically, because we were laughing and joking so much. Our finances finally hit bottom this week. We're broke. But God knew our need, and by a series of rapidly coalescing coincidences, my wife will be hired this week as a first grade teacher in a Catholic elementary school. She has not been in a classroom for 25 years. We homeschooled for 17 years, but in all that time, her dream and prayer, if she ever returned to teaching, was that she'd be able to teach first grade. It's not something we were searching out, it was just dropped in our lap in perfect timing. God's Providence has been so incredibly perfect and tender through all of this that it is breathtaking.
So we see that the two places, the soul that is a cryatal of laight and warmt and the soul of darkness and cold are towradically different places. When I was young and they taught us about Mortal sin it was as though people went through life switching on and and off the great Light of Christ in the soul again and again. I remember aa priest, a moral theologian telling em that before Vatician 2 under Canon Law and threat of mortal sin a priest could accidentally commit over 50 mortal sins just by not vesting and preparing properly for mass. A frightening thought. Scripture described Mortal Sin as follows: 1 John 5:16-17: If any one sees his brother committing what is not a mortal sin, he will ask, and God will give him life for those whose sin is not mortal. There is sin which is mortal; I do not say that one is to pray for that. All wrongdoing is sin, but there is sin which is not mortal. So when we commit mortal sin we change over from being a place of innner light to the place of inner dark. This is a radical decision. I suspect that thinking the of the Light of the soul being turned off and on from week to week and month to month is a false one, it is not realistic. But how does such a false conception come to be? The priest in the Confession box is an Alter Christus, another Christ. The priest in this role is called on to ensure that the penitent has the proper dispostions for absloution. True sorrow for the sin and a firm resolution to sin no more. This is most especially important in the case of Mortal Sin. In fact very,very,very few priests nowadays do any such thing. It is rather like a conveyor belt, the penitent comes in ,says he/she is sorry and rolls out again. Because of this in my opinion very,very,very many souls in the State of Mortal sin roll out of the OCnfession Box in the very same state in which they rolled in. Why? Because they have not been challenged on wehter or not they are truly sorry and fully intend to amend their lives. Take say Mr Brwon. Mr brown is additcied to pornography and frequently uses protitutes in hsi loccal town. Every few months for years my Brown has rolled in and out of the Confession box without being challenged by the priest in anyway. He has a few that he is going in and out of a state of mortal sin. But not at all. My Brown has always been in a state of mortal sin. Nothing changes with the confession box? What is worse, Mr Brown if he recieves the Eucharist has a the sin of a sacrilgeous communion to reckon with as well. Now what would constitue a good confession for Mr Brown? Well an ammendment of life, So for instance he would clear of the porn off the hard drive of his computer, he would loose the the dirty books. he would watch very carefully the programmes and films he watched on TV. If necessary he would go in for some kind of theraphy. Basically if he really cared, if he was really sorry he would be looking at the occasions of sin and sorting things out. What is more the priest would be helping him to do so by trawling through these things and getting them sorted. Now would the priest give absolution until this was done. In fact many penitents go out of the confession box in a far worse state than they go in , because they fool themselves into beleiving things have changed , when they have not. THe person is just as much a bad ass and when he started, if not worse. It is little wonder the confession boxes are empty when such a meaningless charade is being conducted. People are not fools they , in their hearts know such a conveyor belt is a sham. But on the other hand if you look at someone like Padre Pio who was not the least afraid of kicking ass, we see how it should be done. Priests on the whole nowadays are afraid of kicking ass. Sin to sin without repentance while using the Sacrament of oOnfession is, essentially a sacrilege "One day Padre Pio didn't give absolution to a penitent and he told him: "If you go to confess to another priest to have gain absolution you will go to hell together with him". He meant that the sacrament of confession is profaned by people that don't want to change their lives. They are guilty in front of God. http://www.padrepio.catholicwebservices.com/ENGLISH/Confess.htm
Wonderful news, Brian. Wonderful. To be honest I have been a little worried about you all and have been praying . I really admire the way you all have handled all this, I would have been tearing my hair out I think. But as they say God gives the back for the burden. Your backs seem to be an awful lot stronger than mine, though. An awful, awful lot.
In talking to protestant friends they often say "Well you Catholics go to church on Sunday, sin all week and get away with it all by confessing on Saturday." It makes them feel much better when I explain the conditions for a meaningful and beneficial confession. It appeals to their sense of natural justice to realize that people who abuse the Sacrament of Penance get away with nothing and will in fact be further punished for this grave offense. They usually say say something like "Well that's good to know. I had no idea." It's a great chance to witness to the riches of our Faith. Trouble is that few Catholics use the sacrament these days and even fewer know the conditions. Does this ignorance save them fr0m mortal sin?
I don't know about strength, but we know how to laugh. Sue knows now when I need a good laugh. So if I'm standing by my bed, or in font of a recliner, or sitting on my bed, and I'm being impatient or otherwise annoying, she just pushes me over or knocks me down. The first time she did it, I started laughing so much I couldn't breath. I'm a big guy, and I used to be pretty strong at 6'2" and over 300lbs. My poor wife, at only 5'5", was always frustrated that she couldn't "beat" me at anything physical, and while she is very ticklish, I was not, at all. Now she finally has me "beat," both physically and in the ability to reduce me to tears of uncontrollable laughter. My balance is still pretty bad, so I'm not hard to set off balance, so if she just gives me a bit of a shove, at the right time and in the right place, there's just nothing I can do but collapse in laughter. Not long after I got out of the rehab hospital, I still needed help with a lot of things. One day she was helping me get dressed, and I made a simple comment. I said, "You know, you're just like all the female staff at the rehab hospital. They just don't realize it's possible to pull up your pants too far when you're a guy." We started laughing uncontrollably. It became a running joke, one that inevitably she'd use to get me laughing when I was already standing, and laughing uncontrollably took away all my strength and balance when I could least afford it. Anyway, maybe it's not as funny in relating it as when it happened. But I wasn't to be left alone at all, so we had a five month "vacation" where we were together all the time, and neither of us could work. Despite the crosses and the work to recover, it's been an incredible chance to spend time together and grow closer than ever before. As I said, many blessings in the midst of tears and fears and pain. As my oldest son in the Norbertines said, it's been like a big cross, but perfectly and delicately wrapped in the softest way.
Thanks for sharing those things, BK. I know that laughter has always helped my wife and I with our (comparatively minor) crosses. Be assured of my continued prayers for you, your wife and your entire family!
Thank you. A couple months ago my wife, youngest son, 19yo Tim, and I were sitting around the dining room table, discussing the fact I've been so happy and joyful and silly since the strokes in March. I said maybe the strokes took out the crabbier parts of my brain, but offered philosophical and Faith based explanations - reliance on God's Providence, offering up the crosses for the Church and the world and the pope, etc. But Sue and Tim agreed - it's probably because I haven't been to work since early March ;-) Honestly, it's the first time I really feel I've given anything or "done" anything for God. All the writings and posts and talks and even those (often half empty) prayers aren't as much of a gift to Him as much as telling Him you're willing to carry a cross for His Church and souls - even with "conditions" - and then actually being permitted to do it.
"So when we commit mortal sin we change over from being a place of innner light to the place of inner dark. This is a radical decision. I suspect that thinking the of the Light of the soul being turned off and on from week to week and month to month is a false one, it is not realistic. But how does such a false conception come to be? The priest in the Confession box is an Alter Christus, another Christ. The priest in this role is called on to ensure that the penitent has the proper dispostions for absloution. True sorrow for the sin and a firm resolution to sin no more. This is most especially important in the case of Mortal Sin. In fact very,very,very few priests nowadays do any such thing. It is rather like a conveyor belt, the penitent comes in ,says he/she is sorry and rolls out again. Because of this in my opinion very,very,very many souls in the State of Mortal sin roll out of the OCnfession Box in the very same state in which they rolled in. Why? Because they have not been challenged on wehter or not they are truly sorry and fully intend to amend their lives. Take say Mr Brwon. Mr brown is additcied to pornography and frequently uses protitutes in hsi loccal town. Every few months for years my Brown has rolled in and out of the Confession box without being challenged by the priest in anyway. He has a few that he is going in and out of a state of mortal sin. But not at all. My Brown has always been in a state of mortal sin. Nothing changes with the confession box? What is worse, Mr Brown if he recieves the Eucharist has a the sin of a sacrilgeous communion to reckon with as well. Now what would constitue a good confession for Mr Brown? Well an ammendment of life, So for instance he would clear of the porn off the hard drive of his computer, he would loose the the dirty books. he would watch very carefully the programmes and films he watched on TV. If necessary he would go in for some kind of theraphy. Basically if he really cared, if he was really sorry he would be looking at the occasions of sin and sorting things out. What is more the priest would be helping him to do so by trawling through these things and getting them sorted. Now would the priest give absolution until this was done. In fact many penitents go out of the confession box in a far worse state than they go in , because they fool themselves into beleiving things have changed , when they have not. THe person is just as much a bad ass and when he started, if not worse. It is little wonder the confession boxes are empty when such a meaningless charade is being conducted. People are not fools they , in their hearts know such a conveyor belt is a sham. But on the other hand if you look at someone like Padre Pio who was not the least afraid of kicking ass, we see how it should be done. Priests on the whole nowadays are afraid of kicking ass. Sin to sin without repentance while using the Sacrament of Confession is, essentially a sacrilege" Padraig This situation of a priest hearing confession, with apparent indifference to what the penitent confesses happens all the time but does not nullify the Sacrament, as long as the penitent is truly repentant, Correct? Brian K made a comment earlier about the fact that when one commits a mortal sin Divine grace can't enter the soul, but I have never experienced the withdrawal of grace when I sinned. Even though my remorse was immediate, I went to Confession ASAP to make my soul more acceptable to God, so I wonder? I noticed the Eucharist flash mob video you posted (from Preston I believe) that is truly an awesome experience to see our Lord being adored in public. However that particular video was the most powerful God Bless
The loss of sanctifying grace that occurs with mortal sin cannot be felt or "experienced," it simply is a fact and it's been taught by the Church from scripture and in 2000 years of Church teaching. Again, faith is an act of the will, which is of the intellect. We must believe (again an act of faith) that if we commit mortal sin, we lose the indwelling of the Blessed Trinity, i.e., sanctifying grace, until it is restored in the sacrament of confesion. Whether we feel or "experience" the loss of grace is immaterial. It just happens, and we must believe it happens. Of course, for a sin to be mortal, Its subject must be a grave (or serious) matter. It must be committed with full knowledge, both of the sin and of the gravity of the offense. It must be committed with deliberate and complete consent, enough for it to have been a personal decision to commit the sin.But there are elements that can mitigate whether a sin, which objectively is a mortal sin, constitutes such in an individual case based on the points above. Venial sin does not cause a loss of sanctifying grace.
Brian I understood that we can't look on feelings as a barometer of how we stand before God & so I did not take chances with it; the Devil could have been at his play. Your testimony is very inspiring. The idea of offering sacrifice for the salvation of souls is awesome. I alwys pray for souls that will die today, that they be given the grace of repentance and be clawed back from the abyss. It seems to me such prayers are especially effective at the Consecration. Here are some prayers for the dying you might be interested in: Almighty and merciful God, who hast bestowed upon mankind saving remedies and the gift of everlasting life, look graciously upon us Thy servants and comfort the souls which Thou hast made, that, in the hour of their passing, cleansed from all stain of sin, they may deserve to be presented to Thee, their Creator, by the hands of the holy angels. Through Christ our Lord. Amen. Remember, also, most merciful and loving Father, all who are sick and dying, and grant that in the solitude of suffering each may truly “come to himself,” and like the Prodigal of the Gospel may at last discover Thy love and return to a Father’s heart. That most bountiful Heart has given them joy of life and youth, hope and desire; and from it all good and pleasant things, all enduring comfort and true delight, descend in copious benediction. Feed them before they die with the Body and Blood of Thy beloved Son, that nothing may be wanting to their eternal beatitude and Thy love is glorified among the souls of Thy creatures. Amen. Everlasting Father, for the sake of the love which Thou didst bear to St. Joseph, whom Thou didst chose above all to occupy Thy place on earth, Have mercy on us and on those who are dying. Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be to the Father, etc. Everlasting Son of God, for the sake of Thy love towards St. Joseph, who didst protect Thee so faithfully on earth, have mercy on us all and on those who are dying. Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be to the Father, etc. Everlasting Divine Spirit, for the sake of Thy love toward St. Joseph, who so carefully protected Mary, Thy most holy and beloved spouse, have mercy on us and those who are dying. Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be to the Father, etc. I do not know where I copied these prayers from; they may well have come form MOG forum God Bless
Thanks Light. I figured you knew the difference, I just wanted to point it out for any potential "lurkers" who might be confused on the subject. The devil would be happy to use someone's subjective feelings about objectively mortal sin to keep them away from the confessional.
Yes a can Sacrament work even if the priest doesn't. But its better if the priest puts his shouler to the wheel. As to knowing if we are in the state of moratl sin, one of the most scarey passages in the bible is here: Matthew 25:44 The Sheep and the Goats …43I was a stranger and you did not take Me in, I was naked and you did not clothe Me, I was sick and in prison and you did not visit Me.’ 44And they too will reply, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to You?’ 45Then the King will answer, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for Me.’… So we see these people genuinely perplexed as to why they are just about to get the big thumbs down and be plunged into hell for all Eternity. The big, 'Why me?' Yet, clearly they are being found culpable otherwise they would not be being sent there. The truth of the matter is that at bottom no one ends up in either hell or heaven or purgatory by accident. We all of us know the condition of our own souls. We know this quite clearly. What is also true is that we are the very last to know. This is because we choose at some level or otherto bury these thruths in the back garden of our souls. We pretend not to know. But when we die and Face he Judgement Seat of God we are made to go out into the back garden and dig these truths right back up again like some old dog. We have no one to blame for burying them down there in the first place but still we do it. How to dig these old bones out and face them now when we are living? While there is still time to fix things and thus avoid hell/ purgatory? The answer is prayer . The more we pray the more we do the digging. ..andas the Catholic Cahtechism warns very, very starkly , 'Those who pray will be saved, those who do not pray WILL MOST CERTAINLY BE DAMNED (the cathchsim quotes St Alphonsus Ligouri on this)) PART FOUR CHRISTIAN PRAYER SECTION ONE PRAYER IN THE CHRISTIAN LIFE CHAPTER THREE THE LIFE OF PRAYER 2744 Prayer is a vital necessity. Proof from the contrary is no less convincing: if we do not allow the Spirit to lead us, we fall back into the slavery of sin.38 How can the Holy Spirit be our life if our heart is far from him? Nothing is equal to prayer; for what is impossible it makes possible, what is difficult, easy. . . . For it is impossible, utterly impossible, for the man who prays eagerly and invokes God ceaselessly ever to sin.39 Those who pray are certainly saved; those who do not pray are certainly damned.40 2745 Prayer and Christian life are inseparable, for they concern the same love and the same renunciation, proceeding from love; the same filial and loving conformity with the Father's plan of love; the same transforming union in the Holy Spirit who conforms us more and more to Christ Jesus; the same love for all men, the love with which Jesus has loved us. "Whatever you ask the Father in my name, he [will] give it to you. This I command you, to love one another."41 40 St. Alphonsus Liguori, Del gran Mezzo della preghiera.
Your family, Brian, is blessed to have you as a role model in their lives and you are also blessed to be surrounded by so much love. I have a favour to ask of you. You posted a prayer on the forum some months ago that I intended to print out when I got my printer working. I got a new printer and now I can't find the prayer. It was a beautiful prayer, perfect for saying after receiving Communion. I'm sorry that I can't even give you a clue as to which prayer it was, but if you happen to recall posting it and if it isn't too much hassle for you, would you mind posting it again or even giving me a link to where I might find it on the internet. If it's too much trouble, please ignore my request.
