Dear AWeakSoul, I have read your writings and I can identify with those feelings of being cast out of Gods mercy, not going to heaven but instead that the other place was ahead someday. The worst feeling was probably feeling that even God "was against you". A terrible feeling or, if you say, experience. It happened forty years ago. Priests, confession, nothing seemed to help. Instead I saw other Christians that surely or probably were on their way to heaven, because they had the right "faith". What helped me and gave me relief ever since then, was the understanding that I was trying to make myself righteous without understanding that God makes me righteous starting from the Cross. I was trying to fulfill Gods Law as perhaps the Jewish tries to. But God showed me finally that this was not the way. I had to understand that He did not turn His back on me but that I must stop trying to make myself rigtheous. Only Christ can. My problem was that the word "Faith" became something to do and not trustand believe. I tried to be "Faithful" etc by doing good things. And finally God showed me the Bible which declare that we are Free from Law, that is to say free from having to fulfil Gods Law to become saved. This really lifted me back on the road again. Now forty years after, I still have respect very much also for so called Mortal sins and Gods Judgement and Justice but I have a relief in my Life in a way I believe every believer should have. I will pray for you, dear Soulmate! Niklas
TRUTH! Once when I was reading Maria Valtorta, I thought it was wonderful! Then I heard a strong inner voice say- Stop reading this! It was so strong that it shocked me for a minute or two. Soo, smart alec me said oh phhtt and started to read again and suddenly my chair flew back away from the computer against the wall. Now my chair had wheels but there was a thick carpet on the floor and I had trouble moving the chair when I was in it. Then I got a very strong interior word-it has a devil's glam on it. FiliMariae is quite right in saying Letting your emotions control your spiritual life is never a good idea.. I went back to reading Maria Valtorta and it looked like garbage. So AWeakSoul, this is all feelings, true, but the interior WORD from God {an interior word from God is so strong, it resembled nothing of the false thoughts I was getting while reading MV originally} and the physical happenings{my chair with me in it pulled across the room} so strong it left me in no doubt it was from God. Perhaps I was given a certain discernment but since then I have learned to ignore my feelings of lack of worth and disbelief in God's goodness. All such feelings of feelings of self damnation and disbelief in God's goodness is from satan. God is love and anything else comes from the created one satan. Pray for discernment. I will pray for you!
You're welcome, but boy did my computer mess around and do quite a few screwy things when I was typing it
The one thing that gives me doubt about the unforgivable being just final impenitance (although, believe me, I wish it wasthe only thing) was a quote from an early saint used in CCC 1031.... 1031 The Church gives the name Purgatory to this final purification of the elect, which is entirely different from the punishment of the damned.604 The Church formulated her doctrine of faith on Purgatory especially at the Councils of Florence and Trent. the tradition of the Church, by reference to certain texts of Scripture, speaks of a cleansing fire:605 As for certain lesser faults, we must believe that, before the Final Judgment, there is a purifying fire. He who is truth says that whoever utters blasphemy against the Holy Spirit will be pardoned neither in this age nor in the age to come. From this sentence we understand that certain offenses can be forgiven in this age, but certain others in the age to come.606 And God knows I said the words. I have confessed them probably at least 10 times over the years, as I didn't want to say bad words about the Holy Spirit, and only spoke them in answer to aquestion as to what the unforgivable sin was, a question that I answered only under a cross of anger, exhaustion, and after dealing with horrible unwanted blasphemous thoughts for over 30 hours. And then immediately after saying it, it felt as though the Holy Spirit was leaving me entirely. I am consumed with guilt over having said it every day. Despair is a grave, grave sin, yet because of that action and other evil things I had done in the past (the past pornography addiction to really bad types, the solitary impure actions, the horrible, crippling burden of same-sex attraction, the taking sacraments unworthily over 15 years ago, the violent temper in the past, taking verbal revenge 11-12 yearsago against someone who did me harm, the watching of some very bad films), I fear that I am going to hell, and that even if I did confess, it is still so conflicting on the message of the words against the Holy Spirit I want it so much to be just final impenitance, but fear that presumption might happen if I go too far into believing it. I want God. I hate having horrible intrusive thoughts against Him that are completely unwanted and tear my insides to pieces. I lament having been too close to the world. I want Him and Mary back. I want to pray but I keep having this horrible fear sweep through me of those words from years ago. I have to get to confession again soon, but am at loose ends. I'm sorry to keep going on and be such a problem.
My sins are a thousand times worse than yours, every one. I am not being humble, its a simple fact. But I begged forgiveness and was granted it. You begged forgiveness and were granted it too. For sins much, much, much less than mine. The difference between us two is that I accepted I was forgiven and you have not. But both of us of course were forgiven. Why run around in this endlessly self punishing maze you are in? As though somehow you were the very worst sinner who ever lived? I hardly even recognise some of the sins you talk about as even small sins compared to my own. Don't make God out to be a liar. He said even though your sins be red as scarlet I will make them white as snow. He did mine which really were scarlet. I am certain he has forgiven yours which were a really light pink. Believe me if you'd been up to a few of the things I had in the past you'd maybe have had something to worry about. Try a long war for size. All you've done sounds like popcorn to me. So. so. so innocent.
Two of my favorite priests liked to preach about how happy they were that they were great sinners. This is startling to hear at first but after explaining that it made them more compassionate to the penitent in the confessional and far more grateful to God for the gift of His Son, it made total sense. Your sins are no greater than mine or anyone else’s. Our salvation is not achieved from a one-time conversion. It is a daily journey that usually includes many great falls. Our Father is a merciful Father who offers you His forgiveness. But you must accept this gift. I’ve found myself praying many times a day, “O happy fault”. It’s from the Easter Proclamation. “This is the night when Christians everywhere, washed clean of sin and freed from all defilement, are restored to grace and grow together in holiness. This is the night when Jesus Christ broke the chains of death and rose triumphant from the grave. What good would life have been to us, had Christ not come as our Redeemer? Father, how wonderful your care for us! How boundless your merciful love! To ransom a slave you gave away your Son. O happy fault, O necessary sin of Adam, which gained for us so great a Redeemer! Most blessed of all nights, chosen by God to see Christ rising from the dead! Of this night scripture says: "The night will be as clear as day: it will become my light, my joy." The power of this holy night dispels all evil, washes guilt away, restores lost innocence, brings mourners joy; it casts out hatred, brings us peace, and humbles earthly pride. Night truly blessed when heaven is wedded to earth and man is reconciled with God! Therefore, heavenly Father, in the joy of this night, receive our evening sacrifice of praise, your Church's solemn offering. Accept this Easter candle, a flame divided but undimmed, a pillar of fire that glows to the honor of God. Let it mingle with the lights of heaven and continue bravely burning to dispel the darkness of this night! May the morning Star which never sets find this flame still burning: Christ, that Morning Star, who came back from the dead, and shed his peaceful light on all mankind, your Son who lives and reigns for ever and ever. R. Amen.
Dear AWeakSoul, I have been following and praying about your posts for the last while and have a couple of thoughts. The devils first port of call is in our minds, it's where the battle is won or lost. We need to recognise what are the weapons of the enemy and then take action to defend ourselves and conquer him. I feel your weak point is that you have not forgiven yourself. That in itself can have pride as its root and so give the enemy a foothold. So, perhaps the first thing to do is to ask for the grace to forgive yourself, say aloud that you forgive yourself, confess any pride and then take action. The action you need to take needs to be outwards and not inwards, meaning that the focus must be on something other than yourself and your thoughts. A prayer you could say to help keep your thoughts off yourself whenever you are tempted to think of the past is "Jesus and Mary, I love you, save souls." By praying like this, your mind is on the Lord and his Blessed Mother. Souls are being saved and you also have souls praying for you. The enemy will soon give up when he sees the good that is coming from how you respond to his temptations. I will keep you in my prayers. BC
Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is final rejection of God. It’s not really up for debate. I think others have nailed it perfectly on the head: you haven’t forgiven yourself. God does love you and it’s clear that you love Him. If you love Him, then trust in His unfathomable mercy. I’d really recommend you reading Saint Faustina’s diary: Divine Mercy in My Soul.
I came across this video recently and it clarifies for me what blasphemy against the Holy Spirit can entail. Fr. Iannuzzi covers a lot and it is worth listening to the end
I have not been following all this thread but I sympathise with AWeakSoul. As Padraig and other have said, please do not trouble yourself any longer! It is pure popcorn. Like when Archbishop Fulton Sheen compared hearing nun's confessions to being pelted with cotton wool! Another name for Satan in Hebrew is 'the accuser'. These obsessive accusations are not coming from you but from 'the accuser'. Be at peace. I could be wrong but was the context in which Jesus spoke about the sin against the Holy Spirit not the following: that the Pharisees accusdd Jesus of using the devil himself to cast out devils? So the Pharisees were accusing the Holy Spirit - one of the Witnesses to the works of the Son (as Jesus tells us) - of being the devil himself. Wherupon, Jesus had to reveal to them in order to rebut them, that "a house divided against itself can never stand". So this is the sin against the Holy Spirit. To persist in calling the Spirit of God evil. Most of us cannot believe that there are those who knowingly persist in doing evil. Most people who carry out very evil deeds (I am not saying your action, AWeakSoul, was evil) may see in retrospect that their actions were objectively evil. However, at the time of their commiting the crime there was either some mitigating factor or some justifying reason in their mind. However, if you read Deirdre Manifold's book, 'Fatima and the Great Conspiracy', she described people in communist Russia who were litteraly crazed with pleasure while commiting the most abominable tortures and murders on a mass scale. They were to all intents and purposes - perfectly possessed. That I would say is an example of the sin against the Holy Spirit. Perhaps there could be mitigating factors in these kind of cases - but only God knows.
I saw these quotes ... on another page of a website that was shared here. It's over for me. I didn't verbally blaspheme miracles (although I have had horrible unwanted thoughts of that type), but what I said that night I spoke against the Holy Spirit Himself when answering that question, and I am reminded of the Gospel of Luke saying that it wouldn't be forgiven under any circumstances. I know my mind was in a panic that night, but if only I had thought in my state back then of remembering the passage in the bible and handing it to the one who asked instead of saying it outright. I have genuinely thought of suicide, I am so depressed and hopeless. https://ww3.tlig.org/en/spirituality/the-blasphemy-to-the-holy-spirit/ https://ww3.tlig.org/en/spirituality/september-11th-prophecy/ PS. I didn't put up the links so anyone would say anything bad about the messages. I put them up to explain the despair. Please don't say anything bad about the messages. I don't want any of you to be guilty of it or what I am guilty of.
That Vassula lady is not Catholic. You have most certainly not committed the unforgivable sin. Get professional help for your depression now. Then talk to a priest about Catholic teaching. You need the kind of professional help that we can't give you. Here's a link to the Samaritans website: http://www.samaritansusa.org/contact.php
These are not approved prophecies...they actually may be having a negative effect on you. That Priest is not in line with our Church. Please see a Priest to ease your mind.. a devoted Catholic Priest. I'm very concerned for you
The TLIG Messages enjoy the Magisterium's IMPRIMATUR and NIHIL OBSTAT. Official ecclesiastic seals of approval. I agree that you should visit a Priest because it sounds like you may be having scruples: St. Ignatius’s spiritual rules Many in that holy cloud have taken up the problem of scrupulosity because many of them struggled with it. At the end of his famed Spiritual Exercises, St. Ignatius of Loyola provides six notes on what he calls “perceiving and understanding scruples and persuasions of our enemy.” In the first three rules, Ignatius expresses the classical notion that scruples is the constant tendency to “decide that something is sin which is not sin” (Spiritual Exercises, 346). https://www.catholic.com/magazine/print-edition/escaping-the-trap-of-scrupulosity
